Contrition

Dearly beloved,

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have us be sorry for our sins, but not too sorry, not inappropriately sorry. Contrition is an appropriate moderate sorrow for sin, between two extremes, between too little sorrow and too much.

We have too little sorrow if we are indifferent to our sins, unaware of our sins, or believe that we are not sinners. Let us not sadden our loving God and the priest by entering the Confessional saying that we "haven't really done anything wrong", that we have committed only "the usual sins", or only "little sins". When Christ said, "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Luke 5:32) He did not mean that He was only interested in sinners, or that the righteous did not need His grace to inherit eternal life - He said this because there are no righteous to call - we are all sinners, in need of repentance and forgiveness. To say that we have no sin is simply to make clear that we have not even started on the spiritual path, whose first big step is sincere repentance for our sins. We are still possessed by pride, judgmentalism, and prelest (the sin of spiritual presumption, daring to approach God on the basis of righteousness, like the Pharisee).

We have too much sorrow for our sins if we believe that we are "no good", that "God does not want us", or that "there is no hope". This is blasphemy, in that it denies either God's power to save us or His love and desire to save us - or both. It is the sin of despondency. It is often caused by parents who 'type' their children when they do wrong, e.g. "You are a liar" instead of "You told a lie" or "You are lazy" instead of "You didn't clean your room." Every human being is made in the image and likeness of God. Every human being is loved by God, who desires that all mankind be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. A single human soul is of infinitely more value than all the material wealth that has ever been known.

The proper amount of sorrow for our sins is this: That when we sin, we acknowledge freely that we have sinned, and that the responsibility for the sin is our own. That we Confess the sin and ask forgiveness of God and whoever we have wronged. We pray to God for the strength to overcome the sin, and we struggle earnestly to overcome it. But not that we think we are somehow bad, dirty, or evil because we have sinned - We have simply sinned. We need only to put the sin from us, and with God's help we can do that if we continue to struggle, and keep getting up when we fall.

The two extremes, indifference to our sin or prelest, and despondency, are both more common than one might think. And although they are quite different in their essence, they have two very important things in common. First, they are most often strongly set positions in the mind and heart of the person, not easy to overcome. Second, they both often have the result that the person does not come to Confession, or that they make inadequate, even trivial confessions.

It is important for the Confessor to discern these conditions, which are very different but have similar symptoms, because they respond to different medicines. Those suffering from despondency need to be comforted, reminded of their great value in the eyes of God and the Church, reminded of Christ's love for them. Truly, if there was only one human being on earth, Christ would still have come.

On the other hand, those who are indifferent to their sins or think they are good must have their consciences resuscitated. They must be brought to the knowledge that they are sinners, as this is the first step on the path to knowledge of the truth. This, however, must be done very carefully, for pride often lies at the root of these feelings, even in a seemingly gentle person, and pride pricked leads quickly to anger. It is better to approach this issue indirectly, in sermons or bulletin articles of a general nature, even as Christ used parables to teach. We must pray for God's wisdom in these matters, as our own is surely lacking.

On our part as those desiring spiritual life, we should make the effort to find contrition on our own, not placing the burden only on our Confessor. We should take the critical eye that we formerly used to judge our neighbor and turn it on ourselves. We should judge as fairly as we can, looking for the signs of both prelest and despair, which can exist in us at the same time. Rather than relying on our own opinion, we should relate what we see to our spiritual father and ask his guidance. We should pray that God would let us see our own sins a little at a time, and we should encourage our Confessor to question us frankly.

Clergy providing spiritual guidance to those new to spiritual life should take care to explain the cycles of spiritual warmth and spiritual aridity to those under their guidance, explaining to them that the experience of God's becoming more distant is both necesarry and beneficial to their spiritual growth. If this is not done, Christians as yet inexperienced in spiritual life often misinterpret what is happening and, thinking that they have irretrievable lost the sense of the presence of God, fall away from the Church. Worse, in attempting to recover their sense of spiritual warmth, they may also undertake pseudo-charismatic practices.

May God grant us Wisdom!